From whom else's perspective would you speak? (smile)
>Do men realize the fear that they can invoke?
I can't speak for all men; we don't have that good a union. I'm not a large man, and go out of my way to not look threatening, and this seems to inspire a reaction of "You're *still* threatening, and on top of that you're lying to me."
I've had martial-arts training; while I don't consider myself good at it, I know that I *can* cause damage; I can't reasonably pretend to be harmless. I am, however, honorable, or at any rate that's my self-perception; I find women attractive and want to have to do with them, and do not desire to cause them distress unless they tell me quite explicitly that's what they *want*, which has happened a few times.
And some of my MA *instructors* have been women, some of them small. After a morning of having a little woman toss me on my head, I have a lot of trouble buying into the "helpless female" mindset. And the best shot I know is a gorgeous redhead (female).
You have your issues with assault, and I'm not trying to say they're *not* your issues, or that you don't have a right to have them. But I do feel a need to remind you that they're *your* issues, and that having them, and having them be yours, doesn't necessarily indicate that they accurately reflect reality. Many men have a great deal of respect for both women and their own powers, and seek to protect the one and limit the other. The existence of other men who are brigands doesn't change this, and which subset of the class "Men" you choose to direct your attention to is a choice, not something an uncaring Universe shoves down your throat.
I don't have an OED handy, but my memory is that "rape" originally meant closer to what your gaming group is using it to mean than the more modern definition of sexual assault. Worth checking into.
I'm going to cross-post this in my own journal so as to widen the discussion. OK with you for me to link back here?
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
From whom else's perspective would you speak? (smile)
>Do men realize the fear that they can invoke?
I can't speak for all men; we don't have that good a union. I'm not a large man, and go out of my way to not look threatening, and this seems to inspire a reaction of "You're *still* threatening, and on top of that you're lying to me."
I've had martial-arts training; while I don't consider myself good at it, I know that I *can* cause damage; I can't reasonably pretend to be harmless. I am, however, honorable, or at any rate that's my self-perception; I find women attractive and want to have to do with them, and do not desire to cause them distress unless they tell me quite explicitly that's what they *want*, which has happened a few times.
And some of my MA *instructors* have been women, some of them small. After a morning of having a little woman toss me on my head, I have a lot of trouble buying into the "helpless female" mindset. And the best shot I know is a gorgeous redhead (female).
You have your issues with assault, and I'm not trying to say they're *not* your issues, or that you don't have a right to have them. But I do feel a need to remind you that they're *your* issues, and that having them, and having them be yours, doesn't necessarily indicate that they accurately reflect reality. Many men have a great deal of respect for both women and their own powers, and seek to protect the one and limit the other. The existence of other men who are brigands doesn't change this, and which subset of the class "Men" you choose to direct your attention to is a choice, not something an uncaring Universe shoves down your throat.
I don't have an OED handy, but my memory is that "rape" originally meant closer to what your gaming group is using it to mean than the more modern definition of sexual assault. Worth checking into.
I'm going to cross-post this in my own journal so as to widen the discussion. OK with you for me to link back here?
best,
Joel