Last night I walked to my car after work in the dark parking lot and it was freezing. A van pulled up between me and my car and just sat there and I started getting suspcious. I pulled out my keys, I took note of its license plate and make, I tried to get a glimpse of the driver, and the coldness went away... I just didnt' feel it anymore because I was intensely concentrating on a remote possibility that this van was an 'abduction van', and I was planning my next move. I feel that every day to some degree. The stress of going into 'combat mode' wears on our psyches and our bodies, but so far society hasn't found a way to fix it, so I gladly go into 'combat mode' to spare the consequences. As a wife of one of those gamer boys, it hurts to hear him use that word... and he still does... just not as much at game anymore. We've argued briefly and I know his stance is "that's not what I mean and you know it"... and I find myself unable to completely trust that that's not what he means. Because you never know. I've never spoken to my husband enough to make him sympathetic to the sexual violence issue... if I've tried (which is hard enough) he has stopped it with a wave of the hand and with a "this makes you upset" or "I get it. We don't have to talk". The bottom line being, he probably does get it, but we never know. Uh. I was going to try to say something upbeat but I can't because I sympathize. And I don't think therapy will make your fears go away. They may frame them within reasonable boundaries, but the world is still UNreasonable, so my feeling is your fears ARE reasonable.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
I feel that every day to some degree.
The stress of going into 'combat mode' wears on our psyches and our bodies, but so far society hasn't found a way to fix it, so I gladly go into 'combat mode' to spare the consequences.
As a wife of one of those gamer boys, it hurts to hear him use that word... and he still does... just not as much at game anymore. We've argued briefly and I know his stance is "that's not what I mean and you know it"... and I find myself unable to completely trust that that's not what he means. Because you never know.
I've never spoken to my husband enough to make him sympathetic to the sexual violence issue... if I've tried (which is hard enough) he has stopped it with a wave of the hand and with a "this makes you upset" or "I get it. We don't have to talk". The bottom line being, he probably does get it, but we never know.
Uh. I was going to try to say something upbeat but I can't because I sympathize. And I don't think therapy will make your fears go away. They may frame them within reasonable boundaries, but the world is still UNreasonable, so my feeling is your fears ARE reasonable.